My Test is Pain

Let’s speak to the test

It’s yours

Meant to make you your best

It’s of you and by you 

in your own words of course

Every word, every line

Every joke, every verse

As time passes

I miss myself most of all

Don’t feel much like I exist in any way @ all

similar to how I used to

I’ve gone

Who is it though that I’ve become?

Too tired to sleep

too dam hungry to eat

too scared to try

not willing to cheat

Torn between

leaving it all on the floor

and accepting defeat

You ever go through a period of being in pain all the time?

Your brain stops understanding reality as it had @ one time

Things make a different type of sense

Everything is negative and dark but the time I feel it

I understand the world as an increasing elaborate torture chamber designed just for me

My most favorite things have all turned on me

I honestly have trouble convincing myself to give a fuck about a single thing.

I try

I try to see the point in life

I try until I cry

I cry and want to die

My test is pain

and it's driving me insane