Realization of July 11th 2019

Why do you believe I made you less?

Why do you change your mind to fit their best?

Do you believe you’ll take their test?

I assure you, you’re the only one that’s taking yours.

How can they know your heart if you filter it first?

That’s insulting. It hurts. What’s worse, it’s deceptive. It’s cursed.

You’re spinning out of control, been given a wide birth.

All eyes on you.

They’re watching you panic

Lucid and Manic...

Lucid and Manic..

Lucid, don’t panic

Fly

Fly high, but not away

Control it

Control you

And show them your way

Well, if you agree that you’re invincible,

Then why do you fear to live?

Why do you fail to give

Freely of the gifts I’ve granted you?

Did you believe I made you only for you?

Is that what you would have me do?

No, there’s far too much love in you.

Your gifts are for giving;

This way, love flows through you,

And there’s nothing at all left for you to do..

Except to enjoy the life I’ve granted you.

Enjoy it the way I created you to.

The way that only you can do.

The only way I’d want you to.

Be you for me and give of you more freely

So that they all have proof;

The proof, of course, is you;

That God makes No Mistakes and

He made no exception with you.

She finally realized she is the one who’d died.

Abandoned by her Self on the far side of a lie,

Succumbing to her failure to try.

She died cuz she figured why?

I mean why the fuck not?

I smell hell seeping in,

Setting my soul to rot.

What more use in living have I got?

A loveless life?

No, that’s too damn hard,

A winless fight, a grassless yard.

Why the fuck’s my soul so scarred?

Hard to heal past a fatal pill, to renegotiate the final deal.

Let me assure you though, hell is quite fucking real,

Akin to Pandora’s Prison Box, A sadistic, personal paradox.

So I asked Him, finally...

If there is someone better for me than she, show me.

Send her. I want to see her. I’m here to greet her.

I’m working and waiting here to eagerly meet her.

Until then...

I’ll fast for you. Save my last for you.

For me, nothing less than you will do.

The bar’s been raised so high I’m not sure if anyone will even care to try.

But I don’t know what the fuck else to do, no matter what I try, say, play, or do, can’t no one I meet remotely amount to you. There’s no surpassing you. Ain’t shit else to do cuz it’s abundantly clear They’ll never be you.

So...

I’ll be here workin and waitin on you or whoever it is you imagine’s better than you...

Just workin on me and my shit and waitin on some shit supposedly better than you.

Fuck, girl, I can’t get you out my head, it’s ridiculous; we ain’t meant for dis

type of abuse, this smoldering torture.

Quite the unfortunate fortune. Pandora’s Box holder.

Dude really better be worthy to be holdin’ onto my trophy.

I’m quite guilty of tryin to settle.

You know, make do without you,

But I’m realizing it ain’t no use.

I’m waitin on someone who compares to you. Let me tell ya, I’ve auditioned more than a few.

I see you doin yo thang and Imma let you do you, boo.

But if at any point ya boy ain’t cuttin it...

What did Cole say?

You ain’t content wit trynna do ya thang,

Then come back, baby, boomerang