Toxic Blessing

It was a defense mechanism really

A natural reaction 

To an unnatural situation

Shit

I really never

should’ve been

in that relationship 

The idea was for me to learn some shit

Took a while longer than

Spirit intended

But I learned a whole grip

By the time it all ended

I changed 

Of course not always for the better

I have a tendency 

to match frequencies

Match my mood to the weather 

This was what I was meant to learn to control

I learned it finally

But it took a great toll 

On my sanity 

My dignity 

And other relationships 

I’m blessed by the lesson

Regardless of if

I wish the shit never happened

Or ended more quickly

It showed the magnitude 

Of the strength that was in me